Without Words

“Preach always, use words when necessary.”

 

Behind me is a gang building. Broken glass litters the sidewalk, bullet holes decorate the windows and doors, gang symbols, names, and foul language are scribbled on every brick. We are in the middle of inner-city St. Louis, poverty abounds. Last night I talked to a homeless man who told me the secret of staying warm on the streets in winter. I ate breakfast with a well-educated lady who used to teach study-skills classes and now relies on a soup kitchen’s grits and turkey sandwiches for her daily bread. I just gave a piggy back ride to a 5-year old little girl who is the main caretaker of her 14-year old sister’s 1-month-old baby boy. And that sweet boy who keeps trying to hold my hand tells me everyone hates him because he’s fat. He gets McDonald’s for dinner every night. He’s 7 years old and weighs 130 pounds. He keeps coughing up stuff, I wonder if he’s been to the doctor.
It’s the picture of poverty and sadness, yet around me, I see joy.

So much joy, in fact, that even though it must be 100 degrees out and I’ve given more piggy back rides in a day than I thought humanly possible and I’m so exhausted I almost fall asleep while eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I just can’t stop smiling.

In the field in front of the broken-down building, Keigan has given a little boy his hat and the kid is running around with a gleeful smile on his face. Another boy wears Sarabeth’s sunglasses with a look of pride. Mr. Vinstra has two little boys on his back, all 3 are laughing, so happy. I tell a girl she has beautiful hair and her face lights up. Shelby lifts up a little boy and he lays his head on her shoulder. My youth group has come to St. Louis to give all the love we can to these kids, kids who are sometimes hard to love, who scream nasty words at each other, stick their finger out when they get annoyed, constantly get in fistfights. But these little boys and girls who are so thirsty for love, so deprived of it, somehow return the love we give them and multiply it a hundred times. When they see us every day, they scream and run toward us and hug us and won’t let go. They just want to sit in our laps and hold our hands and play with our hair and have us carry them. They call us by name. They offer to fill my water bottle and carry my bag. Every day, they don’t want to say goodbye to us. On the last day they cry, won’t go back inside because they don’t want to stop hugging us. We don’t want to stop hugging them either, and we cry, too.

No, we weren’t quoting Bible verses or sharing our testimonies this week, but sometimes actions speak louder than words. Sometimes showing a child the first love they’ve seen-- the first gentleness in the midst of anger, patience in the face of frustration—can impact more deeply than any sermon could.

And isn’t this so often true in our lives?  Sometimes I think we compartmentalize our Christian life—“There’s no way to bring up Christ in this situation, so I guess I don’t need to witness,” or “I can’t spend more than a little time in prayer each morning, so I guess I won’t be able to pray for all these prayer requests.” But shouldn’t living for Christ be more than just actions? It’s not about how many people you can witness to our how long you can spend in prayer every morning. Although these things are extremely important, we call ourselves Christians because we want to be “little Christs,” to live as Jesus lived, in everything. Yes, evangelize with words, spend time on your knees in prayer. But live like this all the time. Sometimes we can witness best by giving a piggy back ride. Sometimes the most fervent prayer time comes while cleaning the bathroom.  

It’s a lifestyle.

We get this crazy love from God and we are loved to love and we give that love to others and I've never been so blessed.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” ~1 Corinthians 10:31

Surprised by Joy

"She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful and life was so short.”           {Brian Andreas}

Dear God,

Thank You for little girls

who paint polka-dots on my toes
For a mom and dad,
who've been married 22 years today
For summer days
made for wearing white capris
For dearest friends
with whom I could never tire of talking.

Thank you for notes so sweet

I cry tears of beauty
For swinging on park swings
eating bakery cookies with a lifelong friend
For summer days
of picnics and waterparks
For buying dorm supplies
and growing more and more excited for a brand new life

For laying awake at night

so filled with joy I can do nothing but write down praise

Thank You for a new month
in which to explore more of Your daily mercies
For Sunday afternoons
meant for swimming in lake with dear neighbors
For hundreds of voices
raised in highest praise to Lord of all, forgetting all else

For the fresh smell of a brand new planner

in which to record the never-ending adventures contained in each new week.

Thank you for sweet emails

from a future friend

For finishing countless thank-you notes
to dear friends who left heartfelt notes and generous gifts
For lively discussions with friends
which encourage my faith
For little black dresses
made for happy red-headed girls in July

Thank You for good talks
with dearly-loved friends
For red white and blue nails
painted by a little girl who sees the joy in everything
For sweet snappeas
eaten over dinner with joyful family
For pool full of happy friends
basking in freedom and fellowship and sunshine
For man so frail carrying flag in parade
who fought for my freedom

 Thank You for uncle and cousin

leaning close over castle in sand

For flocks of seagulls

flying cross sunset
For bare toes
digging deep in wet sand
For singing oldies loud on beach
with family

 Thank You for nestling under white sheets in bright-lit bunked

writing praise

For little boy in blue goggles

giggling as he splashes in sun-kissed waves

For the simple joy

of snapping pictures of heaven-sent beauty

For summer mornings spent on bright red rocking chair

reading C.S. Lewis

Thank you for summer nights

curled in lamp-lit bunk bed

For the evident love

of a young husband and wife

For texting my best friend

of the beauty in today

For campfires with family

on a lake Michigan beach, watching the sunset

For a tiny poodle

with sand up her nose.

Surprised by joy. This is how I want to live each day. Knowing I am small, expecting nothing, but overwhelmed by the grace, the endless gifts, of my big God. Finding joy in things I too often overlook. Choosing to live my life as a constant prayer of thanks to my Savior. Not just when it's 4th of July or I'm on vacation or when things seem to be going well, but even on days when life seems like a train wreck.

"So our hope is in the Lord.

He is our help, our shield to protect us.

We rejoice in Him,

because we trust His holy name.

Lord, show Your love to us

As we put our hope in You."

 ~Psalm 30:20-22

I'm finding that sometimes when life isn't perfect, when I have to trust, put my hope in Him alone, His love is most evident. When I fully rely on Him, open up to His grace, search for His gifts, I am surprised, overwhelmed.

I want to live my life an endless prayer of thanks.

(AWESOME video--watch til the end)