A color-coded life

I always get super excited about planning new things. I've noticed that I subconsciously see every problem as a new opportunity to plan a solution. For instance, if I realized I didn't have enough humility, I'd think "Ok, let's see here, I can fix this. If I just make this color-coded schedule for myself, at these times I'll do a humility check. That will make me more intentional about living humbly. I can also have this email reminder sent to myself, and do a nightly self-evaluation, and go to the library and look up books about humility, and talk to my best friend and see what she says about humility, and..." I'd carry on with that plan until I realized I was short on another quality. Then I'd start working on that one.

Sometimes I try to do this with my life. I like being prepared. I want to know exactly what being a follower of Christ means for me every second of each day. I try to color-code my life. I deceive myself into thinking that if I come up with a plan, I can follow Him better.

In reality, that's not what He wants me to do. Relying on my own plans shows a great lack of faith, a lack of trust in the unmeasured love and wisdom of my Father. I can't fix myself. I can't follow Him well on my own. Thinking that I can is pride. However, In Mathew 21:21, Jesus offers a much simpler solution: "if you have faith and do not doubt...if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea," it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."

Sometimes it's hard for me to wrap my head around, but we don't have to make a color-coded spreadsheet in order to live for Christ. We just have to trust Him. And pray. He can make me more humble than millions of email reminders and library books. Simply spending time in prayer with Him is a better use of my time than making monthly lists of goals and daily random acts of kindness calendars. If He can move mountains, He can certainly change me. To follow Him, we truly just have to let Him lead us. And when we read His word, pray, and listen, He will lead us better than any carefully-prepared, color-coded, moment-by-moment plan ever could. He can turn us in to someone we can't be on our own.

"I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in Your word." ~Psalm 119:147

Unworthy



Once upon a time I thought gentleness was an outward quality. Someone was gentle if they had a thick filter between their brain and their mouth. If they thought about a person's feelings before expressing something. If they were sweet and sensitive. However, that was before I completed the latest lesson in my Beth Moore Bible study. Come to find out, gentleness really isn't something expressed on the outside. Gentleness is an inward grace of the soul, a gentle submission to God's will for our lives resulting from acceptance that His dealings with us will draw us closer to Him. In order to have a truly gentle spirit, we must recognize that the way up in God's economy is always down. James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." This meekness stems not from weakness. In fact, bowing is often harder than standing tall.  In Beth's words, gentleness is the "power and strength created from submitting to God's will."

The gentleness of submission is best seen through the example of the disciple Peter. Peter began as a cowardly disciple, so concerned for His own safety that he denied his Lord not once, but three times. However, in John 21, Peter pledged to truly follow Christ. This complete submission gave Peter the courage to joyfully accept God's will for him. Sitting here in a comfortable home, surrounded by loving family and friends, situated in a beautiful, free country, it is hard for me to imagine the magnitude of Peter's decision to unceasingly follow Christ. Yet Peter went on to fearlessly preach the gospel, and later to be crucified for the Savior he once refused to be associated with. The catch? Peter insisted that he be crucified upside down, because he was unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as his Lord.

When we bow down to our Savior, we admit that our worth comes from God alone. We are not worthy even to die in the way that He died. Yet He lets us call Him our Father. He lets us talk to Him about any little thing we want to. He calls us His friends, His children, His witnesses here on earth. Oh, how I long for Peter's gentle spirit of submission. How I long for the humility to submit to Him in everything!

Be joyful, long-sufferers!

Be joyful, long suffering friends and family! You will no longer have to endure long philosophical conversations, long emails, or any other long-winded communication! My blog is my new outlet for the thoughts I am always so ready to share! Be prepared for lots of posts...my brain never wants to shut down!