A beautiful silence

"Wow! That song looks so easy. I remember when I played it!" "You don't know the answer to that question? I learned it forever ago!"

I always cringe when I'm teaching back-to-back piano lessons and the next student arrives before I'm done teaching the kid before him. Sometimes the kids don't understand how hurtful their remarks can be, and I'm left desperately scrambling to cover an especially hurtful statement as I watch the tears well up in the eyes of one of my sensitive young pianists.

"Now Joey, think how hard that song was for you when you first learned it!" I'll say to the offender, and I can almost see his brain painstakingly working to recall the not-so-distant time before he graduated from Old McDonald and moved to Row Your Boat. "Ellie just started taking lessons, and she's catching on very quickly!" And turning to her, I say "Wonderful job today, honey!" and I give her a sucker and a quick hug and she's smiling by the time her mom arrives. Whew.

We learn to keep him hidden, but I think there's one of those attention-seeking children in each of us. We long for someone to give us credit, to affirm us, to tell us we're important, we did well, we're beautiful and talented. We always want to be first. How often have you told a friend something you found exciting or important, only to have him top it with his own bit of news, leaving you feeling disappointed and even a little stupid? Or how many times have you done that to someone else?

I've been in both positions. I've been left feeling hurt and discouraged because a friend must always give her two cents when I just need someone to talk to. But too often, I am that friend, still learning that sometimes an understanding silence, a kind smile, or a squeeze of the hand speaks far louder than words. Sometimes a simple affirmation of a person's triumphs or griefs is better than any advice I can give or stories I can relate. Sometimes love is best shown through listening.

I'm going to work to silence that attention-seeking child inside myself and learn to "be humble and give more honor to others than to [myself and to]...not be interested only in [my] own life, but be interested in the lives of others" (Phil. 2:3-4).

Will you join me?