"Wow! That song looks so easy. I remember when I played it!" "You don't know the answer to that question? I learned it forever ago!"
I always cringe when I'm teaching back-to-back piano lessons and the next student arrives before I'm done teaching the kid before him. Sometimes the kids don't understand how hurtful their remarks can be, and I'm left desperately scrambling to cover an especially hurtful statement as I watch the tears well up in the eyes of one of my sensitive young pianists.
"Now Joey, think how hard that song was for you when you first learned it!" I'll say to the offender, and I can almost see his brain painstakingly working to recall the not-so-distant time before he graduated from Old McDonald and moved to Row Your Boat. "Ellie just started taking lessons, and she's catching on very quickly!" And turning to her, I say "Wonderful job today, honey!" and I give her a sucker and a quick hug and she's smiling by the time her mom arrives. Whew.
We learn to keep him hidden, but I think there's one of those attention-seeking children in each of us. We long for someone to give us credit, to affirm us, to tell us we're important, we did well, we're beautiful and talented. We always want to be first. How often have you told a friend something you found exciting or important, only to have him top it with his own bit of news, leaving you feeling disappointed and even a little stupid? Or how many times have you done that to someone else?
I've been in both positions. I've been left feeling hurt and discouraged because a friend must always give her two cents when I just need someone to talk to. But too often, I am that friend, still learning that sometimes an understanding silence, a kind smile, or a squeeze of the hand speaks far louder than words. Sometimes a simple affirmation of a person's triumphs or griefs is better than any advice I can give or stories I can relate. Sometimes love is best shown through listening.
I'm going to work to silence that attention-seeking child inside myself and learn to "be humble and give more honor to others than to [myself and to]...not be interested only in [my] own life, but be interested in the lives of others" (Phil. 2:3-4).
Will you join me?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
A Martha Mentality
If you've grown up in the Church like I have, I'm sure you've heard the story of Martha and Mary. You know the one: Martha running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to prepare the house, while her sister, Mary, sits quietly at Jesus' feet.
As much as I'd like to tell myself that, had I been there, I would have been plopped down next to Mary, listening rapturously to Jesus, somehow I don't think this is the case. You see, I am one of those crazy individuals who feels lost without a to-do list, will not only plan every second of my own life but every second of yours, who lives to be over-prepared for anything and everything, and who will steal your papers, books, etc. to try to color code them. You get the picture: I'm one of those Martha-at-hearts.
I think there are two tendancies for those of us with Martha Metnatlities:
1. Judging the Marys of the world. "But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him [Jesus] and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!'" (Luke 10:40). I have often been in Martha's position, feeling like I have to control the situation: "If I don't do this, no one else will! But it'd sure be nice if someone would help me!" Or "They are so disorganized! If I were in their position..." This leads to:
2. Forgetting people are more important than stuff....and people don't fit on a to-do list. "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better...'" (Luke 10:42). It's easy to get too hooked to your to-do list and not spend enough time on what's really important: listening to others, loving them, serving them. In judging the Marys of the world, sometimes we forget that they are spending time on far more important things than organizing and list-writing. I'm not at all saying those things are bad, but sometimes we need to take a break from our to-do list, look around, and say, "Have I been so consumed with my own agenda that I've forgotten to love others?" We need to get our priorities straight.
There's someone in all of our lives who needs to see we'll take the time away from our busy schedules to care about them or listen to them. How can you be a Mary today?
As much as I'd like to tell myself that, had I been there, I would have been plopped down next to Mary, listening rapturously to Jesus, somehow I don't think this is the case. You see, I am one of those crazy individuals who feels lost without a to-do list, will not only plan every second of my own life but every second of yours, who lives to be over-prepared for anything and everything, and who will steal your papers, books, etc. to try to color code them. You get the picture: I'm one of those Martha-at-hearts.
I think there are two tendancies for those of us with Martha Metnatlities:
1. Judging the Marys of the world. "But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him [Jesus] and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!'" (Luke 10:40). I have often been in Martha's position, feeling like I have to control the situation: "If I don't do this, no one else will! But it'd sure be nice if someone would help me!" Or "They are so disorganized! If I were in their position..." This leads to:
2. Forgetting people are more important than stuff....and people don't fit on a to-do list. "'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better...'" (Luke 10:42). It's easy to get too hooked to your to-do list and not spend enough time on what's really important: listening to others, loving them, serving them. In judging the Marys of the world, sometimes we forget that they are spending time on far more important things than organizing and list-writing. I'm not at all saying those things are bad, but sometimes we need to take a break from our to-do list, look around, and say, "Have I been so consumed with my own agenda that I've forgotten to love others?" We need to get our priorities straight.
There's someone in all of our lives who needs to see we'll take the time away from our busy schedules to care about them or listen to them. How can you be a Mary today?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
A day gone great
I've been having a rough couple weeks for multiple reasons. So when I woke up yesterday morning, there was really only one word that accurately described my state of mind: Bleh. I did not want to face the day, and I certainly did not want to be up at the ungodly hour of 6 AM with an enormous amount of things to accomplish. But here's pretty much how my day went:
1. I read my wonderful friend's inspiring blog post about choosing to have a good day.
2. I received a super encouraging, sweet email from my American Literature teacher from last year.
3. I finished school by lunchtime. (Which never happens)
4. I received a very encouraging email from one of my favorite people.
5. I taught a group lesson to four of my extremely enthusiastic and lively piano students. I decided any job in which you can get a picture like this while supposedly "working" is an incredible job:
6. I finished two projects I've been working on for several weeks.
7. My youth group featured a very inspiring Bible study lesson and sang one of my favorite praise songs during worship. Then, afterward, as I was talking with one of the eighth-grade girls while eating one of the most delicious chocolate-peanutbuttery things I have ever eaten, she randomly told me she thought I was "very pretty."
8. I got home, only to find that the mother of one of my students had left me an extremely encouraging and uplifting message.
Besides this, I also: ate one of my favorite foods for dinner, had a boy from youth group give up his seat for me, got told I was skinny, got hugged multiple times by appreciative piano students, and ate a chocolate pumpkin. Yep, I think it was a pretty good day.
It's crazy to think that the God of the universe cares when I'm having a bad day, but it's so clear He does. I've been so blessed to be surrounded by such an encouraging community of people, and all the little things those people do make such a big difference. It makes me realize what an impact you can have on someone's day if you just take the time to write them a quick note or give them a heartfelt compliment. What if we all made it our goal to make the day of each person we come in contact with a little bit brighter?
Yesterday was a day gone great, and I'm praising God for that. But even when days don't go great, I want to stay joyful. My Savior died for my sins. He is willing to listen to me whenever I want to talk to Him. He provides everything I need. My God--not anything this life can give--is the true source of joy.
I have a beautiful house, a loving family, a closet stuffed full of clothes and a pantry full of delicious food. I need to get my eyes of myself and start loving those around me more. And if I can ever give anyone the kind of day my friends and family gave me yesterday, I'll know I've succeeded.
1. I read my wonderful friend's inspiring blog post about choosing to have a good day.
2. I received a super encouraging, sweet email from my American Literature teacher from last year.
3. I finished school by lunchtime. (Which never happens)
4. I received a very encouraging email from one of my favorite people.
5. I taught a group lesson to four of my extremely enthusiastic and lively piano students. I decided any job in which you can get a picture like this while supposedly "working" is an incredible job:
7. My youth group featured a very inspiring Bible study lesson and sang one of my favorite praise songs during worship. Then, afterward, as I was talking with one of the eighth-grade girls while eating one of the most delicious chocolate-peanutbuttery things I have ever eaten, she randomly told me she thought I was "very pretty."
8. I got home, only to find that the mother of one of my students had left me an extremely encouraging and uplifting message.
Besides this, I also: ate one of my favorite foods for dinner, had a boy from youth group give up his seat for me, got told I was skinny, got hugged multiple times by appreciative piano students, and ate a chocolate pumpkin. Yep, I think it was a pretty good day.
It's crazy to think that the God of the universe cares when I'm having a bad day, but it's so clear He does. I've been so blessed to be surrounded by such an encouraging community of people, and all the little things those people do make such a big difference. It makes me realize what an impact you can have on someone's day if you just take the time to write them a quick note or give them a heartfelt compliment. What if we all made it our goal to make the day of each person we come in contact with a little bit brighter?
Yesterday was a day gone great, and I'm praising God for that. But even when days don't go great, I want to stay joyful. My Savior died for my sins. He is willing to listen to me whenever I want to talk to Him. He provides everything I need. My God--not anything this life can give--is the true source of joy.
I have a beautiful house, a loving family, a closet stuffed full of clothes and a pantry full of delicious food. I need to get my eyes of myself and start loving those around me more. And if I can ever give anyone the kind of day my friends and family gave me yesterday, I'll know I've succeeded.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
A heart torn in two
If you'd entered our house anytime between 11 am and 4:30 pm today, you would've found two girls knee-deep in college applications, essays, interview questions, scholarship apps, pretzel m&m's, ginger snaps, and pop tarts.
Needless to say, we were having an app marathon. After finishing every college essay, submitting every college app, and getting a good start on the scholarships, we made a celebratory visit to Panera's.
I've always been excited for college. Venturing out on my own, living in a dorm, making new friends, cheering my lungs out for my sports teams, even turning in college papers and participating in class discussions: everything connected with college thrills me. Ever since visiting my first college at the beginning of tenth grade, I've been counting down the days till I sent in my first app.
That is, until the day actually arrived.
I felt kind of lost today after I pressed the "submit" button on that final application, and it wasn't just because I'd had too many pop tarts. When I go off to college, everything will be different. I'll make new friends. I'll only see my parents on holidays instead of every day. I'll join a new choir. I'll eat new foods. My life will change.
I guess I never realized how much I love my life before.
I shiver and my heart literally starts aching when I think about leaving behind all those I love. When I come home after four years of school, things will be different. I'll be an independent young woman, ready to get a full-time job and enter the real world. The girls I love and know like sisters now will start getting married, moving away, starting families. We'll still be friends, but it will be different. My heart is torn--I want this year to end so I can begin a new phase of life--but I can't face the end of what I know, of my friendships as I know them, of my being a young, dependent girl.
"For I know the plans I have for you," He whispers to me.
And though I want to doubt, to be scared for my future, to cry about leaving life as I know it behind, I have to trust. He created the universe. He knows me better than I know myself. He loves me more than anything I can imagine. He promises me that He has incredible plans for me. And it is all I can do to lay myself in His arms, praising Him for Who He is, for the way the Creator of the Milky Way and of human life cares about little me.
And once again my Savior brings me unmeasurable peace and comfort, and once again I surrender my life to the control of this loving Lord and Father who holds me in His arms and pours His grace over me.
And there's no where else I'd rather be.
Needless to say, we were having an app marathon. After finishing every college essay, submitting every college app, and getting a good start on the scholarships, we made a celebratory visit to Panera's.
I've always been excited for college. Venturing out on my own, living in a dorm, making new friends, cheering my lungs out for my sports teams, even turning in college papers and participating in class discussions: everything connected with college thrills me. Ever since visiting my first college at the beginning of tenth grade, I've been counting down the days till I sent in my first app.
That is, until the day actually arrived.
I felt kind of lost today after I pressed the "submit" button on that final application, and it wasn't just because I'd had too many pop tarts. When I go off to college, everything will be different. I'll make new friends. I'll only see my parents on holidays instead of every day. I'll join a new choir. I'll eat new foods. My life will change.
I guess I never realized how much I love my life before.
I shiver and my heart literally starts aching when I think about leaving behind all those I love. When I come home after four years of school, things will be different. I'll be an independent young woman, ready to get a full-time job and enter the real world. The girls I love and know like sisters now will start getting married, moving away, starting families. We'll still be friends, but it will be different. My heart is torn--I want this year to end so I can begin a new phase of life--but I can't face the end of what I know, of my friendships as I know them, of my being a young, dependent girl.
"For I know the plans I have for you," He whispers to me.
And though I want to doubt, to be scared for my future, to cry about leaving life as I know it behind, I have to trust. He created the universe. He knows me better than I know myself. He loves me more than anything I can imagine. He promises me that He has incredible plans for me. And it is all I can do to lay myself in His arms, praising Him for Who He is, for the way the Creator of the Milky Way and of human life cares about little me.
And once again my Savior brings me unmeasurable peace and comfort, and once again I surrender my life to the control of this loving Lord and Father who holds me in His arms and pours His grace over me.
And there's no where else I'd rather be.
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