Unworthy



Once upon a time I thought gentleness was an outward quality. Someone was gentle if they had a thick filter between their brain and their mouth. If they thought about a person's feelings before expressing something. If they were sweet and sensitive. However, that was before I completed the latest lesson in my Beth Moore Bible study. Come to find out, gentleness really isn't something expressed on the outside. Gentleness is an inward grace of the soul, a gentle submission to God's will for our lives resulting from acceptance that His dealings with us will draw us closer to Him. In order to have a truly gentle spirit, we must recognize that the way up in God's economy is always down. James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." This meekness stems not from weakness. In fact, bowing is often harder than standing tall.  In Beth's words, gentleness is the "power and strength created from submitting to God's will."

The gentleness of submission is best seen through the example of the disciple Peter. Peter began as a cowardly disciple, so concerned for His own safety that he denied his Lord not once, but three times. However, in John 21, Peter pledged to truly follow Christ. This complete submission gave Peter the courage to joyfully accept God's will for him. Sitting here in a comfortable home, surrounded by loving family and friends, situated in a beautiful, free country, it is hard for me to imagine the magnitude of Peter's decision to unceasingly follow Christ. Yet Peter went on to fearlessly preach the gospel, and later to be crucified for the Savior he once refused to be associated with. The catch? Peter insisted that he be crucified upside down, because he was unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as his Lord.

When we bow down to our Savior, we admit that our worth comes from God alone. We are not worthy even to die in the way that He died. Yet He lets us call Him our Father. He lets us talk to Him about any little thing we want to. He calls us His friends, His children, His witnesses here on earth. Oh, how I long for Peter's gentle spirit of submission. How I long for the humility to submit to Him in everything!