Jars of Clay

[Disclaimers--First, No, this post is not about "Jars of Clay" the band. Although their music is quite epic and I strongly suggest you listen to it :). Second, it was inspired by my LifeChange: 2 Tim. Bible study and the final quote is from my Life Application Bible :)]

“In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble puposes and some ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes. Made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” ~ 2 Timothy 2: 20-21

We are jars of clay. Sinful and imperfect vessels. Yet the King of the Universe desires to use us for His purposes. Isn’t it awesome to think that Jesus can use our lives—and use them for something truly unbelievable, beyond ourselves?!

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As overjoyed as we should be to allow God to use us for his purposes, sometimes we nurture attitudes that stymie the work of God's grace in us. For example:

-Trying to be justified by the law (Galations 5:4). Aka self-righteousness….thinking ourselves or something other than God's saving grace can make us right in God’s sight.
-Timidity (Hebrews 4:6). Doubting God can work through us.
-Pride (1 Peter 5:5). Trying to do things our own way, instead of surrendering to His Spirit.

Yes, these attitudes seem self-centered, but also painfully familiar. I can make myself right. I don't think God can work through me. I can fix this better than God can.

But doesn't it seem like the only appropriate response to God’s working in us is the opposite of self-centerdness--humility? Shouldn’t the knowledge of His work in us bring us to our knees and make us say, “Do whatever you want in me and through me, Lord”? Yet, unfortunately, sometimes God-centeredness is oh-so-much harder than it sounds.  

Now, sometimes (or shall we say often?) I struggle with pride (see my post, A Color-Coded Life). And as much as I prefer to call it independence, or efficiency, or something to that effect, that's really quite inaccurately euphemistic. I try to do things on my own, convincing myself that my planning or organization or color-codedness will fix all my problems. Yet somehow that never really works for me. It's when I come to the end of myself and realize I do a sloppy job of making myself right and I surrender to Jesus that things really start changing. In fact, when I surrender things to Him, they start becoming really and truly beautiful and working out in ways beyond what I could have imagined. How awesome to think that when I surrender to Him, He can use me, this cracked and flawed jar of clay, for glorious purposes, too.

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7

As one of my all-time favorite verses (Ps. 18:35) says, "You stoop down to make me great!" How awesome is that?! The focus is not on the perishable container, but on its priceless contents.

 

You Take My Breath Away

Recently I was talking to a friend who grew up in a Christian family but had wandered down a very wrong path for several years. He said the reason he didn’t come back to God sooner was because he was afraid God wouldn’t forgive him for all the terrible things he’d done. But I love what he said about why he eventually returned to God: "I read that verse about God removing our sins from us as far as the east as from the west, and I realized, once you start going east, you just keep going! You never start going west. I realized God just loves me for me.” Our Savior loves us for us. How awesome is that?! His love is infinite, not dependedent on anything we've done or haven't done. The King of the universe looks at us and sees His beautiful creations, His children, His friends.

Sometimes I think, having grown up a Christian family and heard the doctrine of God’s love and forgiveness so often, I've lost a little bit of the absolute awe that His love should instill in me. His love is so much more than anything this world has to offer. His love should take my breath away, it is so incredibly, unimaginably beautiful that when God looks at me He sees His pure and spotless Son Jesus, not all the junk and sin in my life.

I want to have this love of Jesus. I want to look at people and not see their ourtward appearance or their accomplishments or their faults. I want to see a child infinitely loved by God.  

     I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

  "You Love Me Anyway" Sidewalk Prophets (my all-time favorite song :)

Official "You are More" music video

Live Like That

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs

Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of those
Was my worship more than just a song

I want to live like that

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change a heart
Do I live like Your love is true

People pass
And even if they don't know my name
Is there evidence that I've been changed
When they see me, do they see You

I want to live like that

I want to show the world the love You gave for me
I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that

~"Live Like That," Sidewalk Prophets

 I've always been ambitious. For as long as I can remember, I've been coming up with various business ventures (before I was ten I'd attempted to open a dog grooming shop, start an ice cream truck, and buy a patent for the vacuum cleaner), and I told my mom recently that I don't know what it feels like to be bored--she confirmed that even as a little girl I could always find something to do. Planning events, working to achieve academic success, trying to invent an instant-sunscreen machine--I am always aiming at something, for better or for worse.

I want to be this intense about my walk with Christ. I want to wake up every morning and say, "Okay, God, I know I'm alive today because You have a specific purpose for me, and I'm determined to fulfill it to the best of my abilities." Yet too often, I get so swept up in my own agenda and my own immediate results that I neglect the far greater purpose laid out for me. How incredible is it to know that the God of the Universe wants to use me today?! My day and my life should be centered on fulfilling the work He's laid out for me.

Recently I've been studying 2 Timothy with my Bible study group, and we learned that we must be prepared to preach the gospel "in season and out of season" (4:2). What a great reminder that we can serve God in any circumstance, day in and day out. After the newly saved Chuck Colson was sentenced to prison for his involvement in Watergate, he said, "What happened in court today was the court's will and the Lord's will--I have committed my life to Jesus Christ and I can work for Him in prison as well as out." After several months of seeing God work through him in prison, Colson prayed, "Lord, if this is what it is all about, then I thank You. I praise You for leaving me in prison, for letting them take away my license to practice law, yes--even for my son being arrested. I praise You for giving me Your love through these men, for being God, for just letting me walk with Jesus." This is surrender. Freedom in the midst of prison. Joy in the midst of pain. Realizing God can use you anywhere.

I want to live like that.

I Started this Week Flat on My Face....

(Project 31, Day 6..if you haven't noticed, I'm not going in order here. :)

...Literally. I'd watched some Christian friends who I respected and loved go down a path of worldliness. I was dismayed and discouraged, knocked flat by the jaded beauty and the messed-up priorities that infiltrate our world, wondering how people can change so quickly. I felt utterly helpless, and let's face it: organized, overly-planned me definitely does not like feeling helpless. When I did Beth Moore's wonderful Bible study Stepping Up a couple summers ago, I learned to pray prostrated in utter humility before my Savior. So that's exactly how I started this week: nose-to-the-ground on my bedroom floor, crying out to my Ever-Present Help in trouble.

Eventually I turned my Bible to Philippians 4:11 and read the verse about being content in all circumstances. Unfortunately, at that moment I really didn't feel like being content. "Doesn't God know the kind of day I've had?" a little voice inside me whined.

But God always knows what we need. The more I thought about that verse, the more I truly did feel like rejoicing in my Savior. Yes, people here change. Things here are hurtful. But God is still God, unchanging, always Enough for me, always my Rock, my Security, my joy. Even this painful situation shows His love; He is unfailing when everything else seems transient; He is graceful when people are ready to judge; He is beautiful and whole when the world seems fake and shallow.

What awesome truths to know and believe. How incredible that I am a recipient of the never-changing love of my Heavenly Father. But even beyond these truths about God, my time on the ground this week reminded me of two things about myself that I'm prone to forget. I realized I am:
1. Helpless without Him. Depending on my planning and critical thinking to solve life's problems is ludicrous when the One who created me desires to lead me every step of the way. I want my heart to always be in a position of utter humility before Him, whether I'm face down on my bedroom floor, or talking to my friends, or teaching a class of first-graders, or anything else.
2. Humbled, but not defeated. Yes, sometimes I'm knocked down and jaded by this world. But Jesus has made me more than a conqueror. I will use prayer to fight incessantly for those around me to see the truth: only Jesus can bring contentment and wholeness to life. (Quick plug here for one of my favorite books--Wrestling Prayer by Eric and Leslie Ludy has a whole wealth of information on this. :)

Crazy what you can learn with your nose on the ground, but then, I serve an awesome, unpredictable God.

Meant to Live

Project 31, Day 3

"Live for heaven and you get earth thrown in; live for earth and you get neither." ~C.S. Lewis

Sometimes I wonder if our world could possibly get more shallow. Like when I watch 7-year-olds getting brand-new iPod touches for Christmas. Or when I see teenagers who'd rather surf the internet on their phones than talk to you. Or Christian young people who are swept up in the high school soap-opera of who-likes-who rather than being consumed with Christ.

I'm currently reading this super-amazing book, Tramp for the Lord, by Corrie ten Boom. Corrie lived through an unimaginably hideous German concentration camp during World War II (for more on that story, read her book The Hiding Place). She was barely fed, forced to stand in the freezing cold for hours in threadbare rags, made to watch her sister Betsie and many other women die under the horrible cruelities of the guards. Just reading about it gives me the heeby-geebies, but Corrie knew that, to those who have found Jesus, where He is, it is heaven:

"Betsie and I walked to the square where roll call was being held in the concentration camp. ..The head of our barracks was so cruel that she had sent us out into the very cold outdoors a full hour too early. Betsie's hand was in mind. We went to the square by a different way from the rest of our barracks-mates. We were three as we walked with the Lord and talked with Him. 'Isn't this a bit of heaven!' Betsie had said. 'And Lord, this is a small foretaste. One day we will see You face to face, but thank You that even now You are giving us the joy of walking and talking with You.' Heaven in the midst of hell. Light in the midst of darkness. What a security!"

And farther on in the book...

"There [in Korea] I saw the poorest shack I had ever seen. It was a tiny lean-to, made from materials collected from the garbage heap--pieces of cardboard, tin cans which had been smashed flat, old boards...As we drove past, though, I heard the beautiful voice of a woman singing. Seldom, even in the concert halls of Europe, had I heard such a sweet voice. We stopped the car and listened, for it was like the song of a skylark. I said to the missionary who was travelling with me, 'Do you know that song?' 'Yes,' she said, 'it says, Where Jesus is, 'tis heaven there."

This is true beauty. Realizing that all the shallow, material comforts and fads of this world mean nothing. In the lowest valey or on the highest mountaintop there is joy if Jesus is there. That is what life should be: Living for something far greater than comfort or fun or popularity. Living for a Savior, being so enraptured with His love that nothing can separate you from His joy.

Oh Jesus, please show us what we were Meant to Live for.

Switchfoot: Meant to Live official music video

Beautiful?

Project 31, day 1!

There are many different things I call "beautiful": scenery, acts of kindness, physically attractive people, godly people, a rabbit with good type (remember folks, I own a rabbit business here, so it makes sense...kinda? ;), a pretty vase or painting, getting my schoolwork done quickly, etc.

So my first Project 31 assignment made me think. What is beauty, really? Somehow rabbit-beauty and godliness-beauty just don't seem related.

 In hopes of nailing down the definition of beauty, I decided to carry around a notebook for a couple days and jot down every truly beautiful thing I saw. So here's a list of the things I deemed beautiful today and yesterday: 

-My morning quiet time with God. Nothing but Him and me. Stillness, for once!  I am most aware of His beauty then.
-My mom getting up at 6 AM to joyfully prepare a healthy breakfast for my dad and me. That's servanthood...a mirror of the Biblical example of a godly woman.
-My friend's singing. Oooh, it is gorgeous. She has this solo she sings every week in choir, but it still gives me chills after all the times I've heard it.
-A friend who just listens.  Sometimes it seems everyone in our culture talks and talks. So when someone  takes the time to just stop and listen, I find that truly beautiful! This specific friend has been such a huge blessing to me.
-Boys who act like gentlemen. I love it when guys open doors for ladies and treat them respectfully. Chivalry is an art that seems lost in our generation, so I really do appreciate when a guy makes an effort to treat me and other girls considerately.
-A girl I know who joyfully gives up two nights a week to serve a disabled boy from our church. I want that kind of generosity!
-A new snowfall. Gorgeous!
-A girl from choir who is always smiling and upbeat. Whenever I see her, she pays me some kind of compliment and always brightens my day. She is always looking around to see who she can encourage. I long for that Christ-like inner beauty.

At first glance, early breakfasts, beautiful singing, and snowfalls may not seem to have much in common, but actually, I think there's a clear connection between everything on my list: each thing is a reflection of God's glorious nature. Servanthood was the focus of Jesus' life. Snow and singing are pictures of His incredible creations, gifts to His children. Others-centeredness and joyfullness are His qualities, and people who emulate them so beautifully are filled with His Spirit.

Something is beautiful to me when it reminds me of my Savior. Oh, that I may decrease, so His beauty can fill my life more fully!

Project 31

So I've decided to try something new on my blog. This lovely lady Mandy over on her blog, She Breathes Deeply, has started a super-cool project to celebrate Biblical beauty-- the kind exemplified by the Proverbs 31 woman. Here's how it works: for 31 days, I'll be posting something about true beauty. This is the list Mandy proposes:

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

I'm really excited about this! I won't be posting every day, but over the next couple months, I'll try to cover all 31 days. Readers, I'd love to have you follow along on this little journey. And bloggers, why not join in on the project? :)